08 February, 2010

My Two Daves

I came up with a revelation this morning. Maybe not the most shocking thing to ever hit the blog world, but I was surprised at the pile of evidence that I came up with to back it up in short order. It came to me in the loo, (where all the best ideas happen) that there are two types of Dave in the world. Yes, I am sure you are saying: "Stupid man, there are LOADS of types of Dave in the world. I have 4 Daves in my office. All different."
But I will counter with my pile of evidence that I have meticulously researched in the last half hour using Google images. I used images because I am crap at remembering names. I do better with faces. You would think that my inability to remember a person's name would poke a hole in the My Two Daves theory, but it works. Just hear me out.

The two Daves I am speaking of are either a Dave or a David. A lot of children are given the name David and then called "Dave" by their friends and family. They grow up being the easy-going/fun-loving Daves that we all know and love. Other children are given the name David then referred to as "David" by their peer group and turn into uptight twits.

Right now, you are probably thinking, "This idiot has no idea what he is talking about. He is pulling all of this out of his butt and I am going to stop reading now and go back to surfing for porn." But, WAIT! Here is where I cleverly place my exhibit A. Hah! Dave Grohl! The Personification of Dave-ness. Born, David Eric Grohl outside of Washington D.C. (thank you Wiki) and is as Dave as it gets. Cool beyond belief, although he would be the last one to recognize it. He is under the impression that he is just a big dork. So on the Rock Star front, my Dave vs David features Dave Grohl of too many bands to count, versus ...

David Lee Roth. Nothing against David Lee Roth. I am a huge Van Halen fan. I had a poster of David Lee Roth up in my bedroom as a kid right up until I figured out it might be a little gay to have a poster of a naked man getting out of a pool in my room. At the time, I just thought he was cool. It was very hard to find an image that summed up David in all is glory, did I use the one with him wearing Assless chaps with a horse tail in the back? The one of him clowning at the podium when he was supposed to be presenting an award? I had to settle on one... So I came to this one. The man carpet in the first shot is just amazing. But it was a sign of the times. If you were someone, you had a carpet. Jon Bon Jovi, Andre Agassi in the pre-shave days, and they were building on the greatest carpet in rock and roll, Robert Plant. Compared to them, Bob Plant had sprouts more than a full on carpet, but he was doing the Shirtless Rockstar well before them. But I digress.
Even Rolling Stone referred to David as "the most obnoxious singer in human history, an achievement notable in the face of long tradition and heavy competition." (thanks again, Wiki)

So that is my Dave vs David Phase one. I have a few more Daves I can throw out for you to think about, comment on this if you disagree. I am happy to play along.

Some other notable Daves. Feel free to weigh in on their cool/crap factor.

David Mustaine of Megadeth.
David Letterman of late night fame.
David Cameron of the Conservative Party.
David Chappelle of the Chappelle Show (more notably, walking around D.C.) .
David Lachapelle photographer extraordinaire.
David Sedaris humorist writer.
David Eggars satirical writer.
David Bowie far-out man.
David Foley Canadian funnyman.
David Beckham Mrs. Posh Spice.
David Duchovney Sex Addict.
David Hasselhoff of David Hasselhoff fame

Let me also add; some people are born Davids, and grow into Daves. Some Daves can act a bit David on occasion. Others are just David all the time.
I have my list, answers will appear next week. Jump in with your own list of Davids or Daves. Even if he is just a David from your world.

Oh, and thanks for reading.

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