Jurassic Park.

I have been out pounding the pavement. Nothing to show from it yet, but I am not deterred. Well, not VERY deterred. As a friend of mine told me right when I quit, the right job will come along. This is all for the best.

As I am unable to run still, I went for a walk the other night around the Serpentine. For those of you not in The Know, the Serpentine is that little lake in the middle of Hyde Park. The lake is normally clogged with people during the day, but at night it is lovely and deserted. Not only are the people gone, the ducks, geese, and swans are much more relaxed. I almost stepped on a couple of ducks napping in the middle of the path. Most of the swans were doing their nightly oil rub-down to keep the water flowing off their feathers and the (normally evil) Grey Geese were standing on one foot dozing. If Birds used to be Dinosaurs, then Grey Geese were Raptors. Cute and fuzzy as babies, but when they are grown they will pluck your eyes out of your skull while honking. 

I am no expert on birds. I don’t eat them anymore, but I have seen a fair bit of them. When I lived in Bethesda, Steve and I would take the canoe out on the Potomac and on a quiet morning, you could get right up to the Herons hunting in the shallows before they would notice you were there. They were always on their own, the herons. Never saw more than two at a time in one area. So you can imagine my surprise after almost stomping on a pair of sleeping ducks to see a heron standing in my way on the path. He scooted to one side, which I thought was nice as he looked like a dinosaur and scared me a little. Then I noticed another, another and another.

Once I waded through the group of them, I turned back to see what in the hell was going on, and counted 35 of them. Vaguely lit by the weak street lamp at the top of the hill, dozens of these grey dino-birds were just chilling out on the hillside. There was a couple there and they must have been doling out bird crack, because I have never seen more than two of these things at a time and here was a herd –flock, I suppose, of them all waiting for something.

They were very polite and very patient. They weren’t queued up, just loosely standing about in one area, but it was pretty creepy. I am used to seeing a flock of Canada Geese clamoring for free bread from tourists. Hell, even the majestic swan lowers itself to scrabble for some free King’smill sliced. Not the heron. They were too dignified, too regal for that sort of behavior. They stood like guests at a black-tie gala, waiting to be served champagne and crab puffs. No squawking, no jostling. Just cool.

I am still a little freaked out by them. It could be the pointy beak and the unblinking eye. Or the Jack Nicholson slicked back haircut they all sport. Either way, they are a little scary, very cool and my new favorite bird. Until one of them attacks me on a nightly walk and stabs that razor beak through my thigh so I can’t run away while the others surround me and peck me to death then eat my innards leaving the rest of me for the ducks to poop on. I knew I should I have stepped on those sleeping ducks while I had the chance…

Author note: I had to go back the next night to try and get pictures. There was a smaller crowd of birds and I went early to get shots as my camera is crap, so it wasn't as dark.  But I did get these two just waiting. 

Ow Ow Ow.

Did I mention that I started running? Not as though someone is chasing me, although I suppose it will come in handy when the situations comes up. Running to get in (better) shape. I am not exactly sure why I chose running. I could have done swimming or rowing or dwarf tossing, but I went with running. I think you need special equipment for dwarf tossing. Namely, a dwarf that is happy to get tossed. Man, that sounds dirty-- I have been doing it for a little while now but with all the free time I have now that I am not working full-time, I have been going (almost) every night. That should mean I get better at it, right? That is what I thought.

My last few runs have gone like this:

• • 9.4 Kilometers in an hour. Happy. Excited. Tired.
• • 4 Kilometers in 35 minutes. Dejected. Exhausted. Frustrated.
• • 6 Kilometers in 40 minutes. Frustrated. In pain.
• • 9.6 Kilometers in an hour. Elated. Sweaty.
• • 6 Kilometers in 35 minutes. Serious pain. Very frustrated.

The last run was last night and after zipping through my first 3 K in 15 minutes something went wonky in my leg and I had to limp the last few Kilometers until I just stopped. I am no expert on anatomy, I only know it from the artist’s perspective and knowing how to draw a leg from the knee to the ankle doesn’t really tell you what is going on in there. The part that is hurting me is in the middle bit where there are no joints, no muscle connections (that I know of), just skin and bones. So, what the hell, Mr. Leg? Why are you acting up?

I think I am going to give him the night off and see if a rest sorts him out.

I realize that I am being overly dramatic. Having a wee bit of pain in your leg when you run is nothing like those hardcore footballers that get hurt on the pitch. Although, maybe it is. Perhaps the feeling that Francesco Totti feels when he bumps into Thierry Henry, collapses on the grass and screams like a teen-aged girl at a Twilight premier, is the exact same feeling I had last night. I did walk to the side lines (of the gym), stretched a bit, then walked home. Just like a proper footballer. Minus the screaming and rolling about on the grass trying to convince the ref that I was wronged by the treadmill. Is that why they have running coaches? Do they teach you how to flop on the ground and get a yellow card for the treadmill? I need to get one of those, then.

With any luck, my leg will sort itself out and I can continue my running endeavors. I have boosted my average speed in the last week and with luck, I can get back out there to lend my support to my friend Sarah who is running a half marathon. She is well ahead of me in her training.

As an aside,  Gimp Flipper is a great band name.