13 July, 2010

Tea (for a change)

I woke up this morning to lovely, overcast skies, puddles on the ground and smell of sweet-sweet rain in the air. Brilliant! Some of you might be thinking, "What sort of nut likes cloudy, overcast days?"
This sort. I didn't move to London for the 90 degree temps and the dust-dry gardens. If I wanted that, I would be living with my niece in Air-Conditionerville, AZ. But I don't live there. No offense to all the nuts that like it a brain-boiling, 116 degrees Fahrenheit (the projected high for Thursday, 15 July) but I prefer to go outside and not die.
Right, where was I? Oh, this morning. I woke up to lovely overcastness and put the kettle on for a cup of tea. As it was chilly in the flat and overcast, it was a perfect morning for a big mug of Lapsang Souchang. Lapsang is a bit like Sarah Palin. You either love it, or you go around the globe trying to convince others that, not only is she as stupid as a bag of hammers, she is the figurehead of everything that is WRONG about America and a vote for her is a vote for Hitler except this time it won't just be Jews. It will be a Hitler with boobs that hates brown people, animals, free speech, the environment, atheists, children, and the elderly. Okay. Maybe Lapsang is not EXACTLY like Sarah Palin. Although, I have been told she smells like a bushfire or burning tires and on that glowing endorsement, I should like her because I love Lapsang Souchong, it is amazing. Sarah, not so much.

I enjoyed my first cup of smokey tea so much, that I promptly made another then another. Then I spent a lot of time going to the loo. (My tea mug is pretty big.) Between wees, I was reading on the BBC about this Moat character that declared war on the police after shooting his ex-girlfriend, her boyfriend and a cop that was minding his business, eating a donut. I read that his family is upset that he shot himself with a shotgun. Now, let me be honest. I am sure I would be upset if someone in my family shot themselves. But if they shot themselves after they shot their ex-girlfriend, her boyfriend, a cop eating a donut, then called the cops to declare war on them... I would think to myself, what a stupid bastard. And now, now there is an inquest into the cops because they might have tasered him. Oh, come on. I suppose the Irish nutters that dropped a block of concrete on a cop and the ones that beat the hell out of the other cops with lumber, pipes, bricks and petrol bombs should get a stern talking to and given a tenner for their troubles?

This is why I am not a cop. The first time some hoodie-wearing twats took a swing at my fellow cop with a 2x4, I would have shot him. Just in the leg. Then the ones that came to help him would have gotten shot too. And unless they have already sired children, I would be doing a public service. People that stupid shouldn't be allowed to reproduce. Ugh.

And now that I sound like Sarah Palin, I am going to find something cute to look at on the interwebs. Oh, look a kitten. What is that Mr. Kitteh? I should calm down?
I think I will make another cup of smoky tea, add a dram of single malt to it and do just that. Good day to you, sir.

Blogger's Note: I realise this post was all links and no pics, and that makes Jack a dull boy. Or a very boring blog to read. I hope the kitten at the end made it all worthwhile. Oh, and I am certain that Sarah Palin is the Devil's minion. She is not smart enough to be the Devil herself. 

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